Q.
I am embarrassed to say that my FND (Functional Neurological Disorder) makes it hard for me to walk. I fall, sometimes I just crawl, sometimes I get so down about it. I can’t garden or bushwalk and I just was fired from my 19 year job. YET, here are you, probs wishing you could do those few things that I can do. Do you ever feel anger at folk like me, whinging and complaining? I know suffering isn’t a competition, I just know that I get angry and very sad.
A.
Well, there’s a few things to unpack here, but let’s start with you. So firstly, that’s a bit shit about your own health, like losing function at any level or capacity is hard. Especially if being able-bodied is what’s familiar. My heart goes out to you. I honestly don’t understand why this stuff happens to some of us, like sure we could speculate about this all day (karmic debt, spiritual guidance), but really the bottom line is that it’s just not fair. I mean, sure there are opportunities in adversity, (and I’m sure you’ll be able to relate to this) but geez walking down the street freely would be nice to do hey!?
What my main hope for you is that you have somebody close to support you, a husband, family or close friend. Human interaction and connection is super important, especially when times are tough. Leaning on someone truly can be a beautiful thing.
Now, I guess it’s time to get to me. So, I feel absolutely no anger towards folks like yourself (like if you choose to whinge, I believe it’s totally legit and warranted, losing control of your body is a rough experience). In fact, I don’t feel any anger toward anyone really (apart from murderers and some authoritarian asshole extremists I suppose, you see, I try to respect everybody for their own individual earthly journey. We all have flaws and struggles, we all have strengths and dreams. Or, to put it another “very spiritual way, we are all children of God.
Nevertheless, and to read between the lines of your question a little bit, I am a flawed human too. So, I can get jealous or annoyed (which, honestly it doesn’t happen all that often), and mostly it’s when I see people “who have it all” and they’re squandering their gifts. Or maybe you could say, they’re abusing their station in life, plus this often comes with a thick undercurrent of entitlement. Which, sure I know most of these traits come from privilege, then a lack of exposure and/or education, so I do try to forgive and not judge. I keep my opinions to myself a lot. I run my own race and move on.
Still, the underlying theme here is that I hate to see people wasting their lives. No matter what challenge or obstacle somebody has, I still believe that life is precious and that we should all hold on to it as tight as we can. One life, make the most of what you’ve got. But also, who am I to determine worth in somebody’s life, I’m just some dank-ass quadriplegic.
So… I guess my anger or your self-annoyance, what it really boils down to is our own moral compasses. Who are you and what do you stand for? And once you work this out, maybe show the world.
Peace out yo. And remember you don’t have to be gardening to enjoy your garden 🙂
Halfway Decent Advice 