Q.
As a chronic back pain warrior of 12 years (since car crash & major surgery) I’ve exhausted all avenues with my health provider (NHS). I’m currently on a lot of meds with shitty side effects. My question: Should I just accept I’ll be in pain for life or keep searching for freedom ‘outside the box?’ It’s the struggle to make that choice I’m finding really hard.
A.
Well firstly, hey this sucks and I totally empathise with your situation. Chronic pain is such a pain (haha) and something that really can and does cripple a life. What I find most annoying about it though, it’s sorta like an invisible disability that is hard for other people to understand, so (and I’m assuming this is how you feel) you’re very alone in this. It’s an internal struggle… and for this reason I totally agree, you are a warrior.
Now to dissect your question a little, I see a few main issues here. One is hope or the hope for a better day, and personally I’d say never let go of this. Still, definitely don’t get carried away here, rather try to balance a realistic optimism, because miracles are rare but they do happen.
Then secondly, from my knowledge the NHS is a conventional health provider, so what I’m wondering is how much have you explored ‘outside the box’ alternative therapies? For example, acupuncture, massage, slapping fish over your face? Yeah some of these can get pretty crazy and be expensive, only from first-hand experience (as the conventional health system also failed me), this is where I managed to find some relief. So maybe this is worth exploring? Or exploring more?
Further, another thing I’ve found, it’s this hope and search for answers that is actually living. You can find yourself in strange places, meet interesting people, discover yourself. This can bring meaning and purpose to your life too, plus this is how you can make an affliction work for you. Sure, sure, I know it’s not ideal yet as my parents always taught me, life really is about making the most of what you’ve got.
And finally, it’s like you’re giving yourself a final ultimatum here – do I give up or keep trying? Well, personally. I don’t think things need to be this black and white. Or maybe better put, be easier on yourself and blur the lines a little, I know twelve years is a long time but honestly I believe resignation will just hurt your heart (and you’re in enough pain already). So, like I said, maybe try to employ some realistic optimism – whatever that looks like for you.
Oh also, try to see if it not a physical healing that you crave, rather, see if this leads to a deeper soul-related one or something like that?
I wish you the best, truly.
Halfway Decent Advice 